Ready to Return to My First Love

So I throw my heart on the floor,

Like a sheep to the slaughter, 

And let it all bleed out. 

You can have it all, each part of me.

I’ve been such a sinner,

I’m ready to return to my first love.

—Disciple, First Love

These song lyrics have been with me all week. I can’t seem to stop listening to this song, and its last chorus especially has been bouncing around my head, demanding attention. It paints a beautiful picture of repentance; what could be more beautiful than letting go of everything and turning it over to God? Repentance is the first step toward starting a revival in your own life and discovering a newfound love for God and all He has planned for you. This chorus breaks down the steps we need to take in order to start that  personal revival. Let’s break it down line-by-line and expound upon the song’s scriptural foundation. 

So I throw my heart on the floor

We know the nature of the heart from Jeremiah 17:9, and we can trust that it can’t be trusted.  Knowing the natural tendency of our flesh and the inner conflict within it helps us to see ourselves for what we truly are (Romans 7:15-20).The act of throwing suggests violence or an immediate need to rid ourselves of something; Thus, this line is telling us we must become so disgusted with our sin that we are repulsed at the very thought of it. We have to give it all to God and trust that He can take care of our hearts better than we ever could. 

Like a sheep to the slaughter

Sheep aren’t very smart by themselves but they have trust in their shepherd to guide them. When a shepherd leads his sheep somewhere, they trust that their leader has their best interests in mind. We know that God is our shepherd (Psalm 23:1) and that everything He does is in order to make us more like Him, even if that means leading us to the slaughterhouse of our sins.

Sheep at the slaughter are typically sacrifices for something greater. Similarly, we must be ready to sacrifice our hearts before the Lord with the same willingness Christ had when He gave Himself for us (Isaiah 53:7; John 10:18). Slaughter in this case  represents the death of ourselves in Christ (1 Corinthians 15:31). This death to self is essential to a successful Christian life; we know that God wants to shape us to be like him (2 Timothy 2:21, 2 Peter 3:18, & Isaiah 64:8) and this by definition requires a sacrifice of self in favor of God’s will. We must be willing sheep, trusting that our Shepherd has everything under control.

And let it all bleed out

We have to make ourselves vulnerable and expose all our sins, letting them bleed out before God. Our hearts are tarnished so quickly by sin that we must purge them regularly to keep them clean before God. Unfortunately, it takes the blood of sacrifice to atone for sins (Leviticus 17:11). In the Old Testament, this was provided for with animals. From Jesus’ crucifixion to the present, however, the blood of Jesus from Calvary’s cross atones for our sins. Jesus’ blood was perfect, and His slate was clean; since we’re not perfect like Jesus, we must let all our impurities and sins wash out, and bare our souls before the Father. When we do, He makes them white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).

You can have it all, each part of me

This is the point of surrender—hands up, white flag waving in the breeze. God wants everything we have because He gave it all to us: our talents, our time, our hearts, our love—it was all His to begin with! Surrendering is our reasonable service to Him for these gifts He has given us (Romans 12:1). We must soon realize, however, that any service we might render could never be enough. It’s only through God’s grace  that we are fulfilled (Ephesians 2:8-9). As our relationship with God is restored, we can begin asking God to change our lives drastically. We must be willing to let go of pet sins and accept radical lifestyle changes for God. It is so easy to stick with a five minute devotion here and a worship song there and call it Christianity. We tend to compartmentalize our lives, giving God a few days of the week and just a smattering of our talents. This is selfishness, however; in doing this we keep back parts to ourselves that we don’t want God to work in. Our relationship with the Father is meant to be so much more than that! In order to embrace the full plan God has for our lives, we have to sacrifice all of it. 

I’ve been such a sinner. I’m ready to return to my first love. 

We have to admit that we are sinners before Christ can start moving (both before we are saved and after). When we can’t see our need for forgiveness, we can’t see our need for a Savior. If we’re already enough, then why would we ever need anything else? Returning to our first love echoes the words of Revelation 2:4. Just like the church at Ephesus, we could do everything right, but after losing our love of Christ, our intentions become tainted. In order to return to God’s fold, we have to realize that we have strayed in the first place and that we were better off before we left. This requires us to wake up, or come to ourselves, much like the prodigal son (Luke 15:17). Not only do we have to realize that we have strayed, but we must possess a desire to return. Otherwise, we would stay right where we are, fooling ourselves into material happiness or comfortable misery.

What does this have to do with revival? you may be asking. To have revival in our hearts, we must first realize we have strayed from our first love (Jesus). We must also realize that this happened because of our sin. We have to be willing to give our hearts back to Christ in order to come back into communion with Him. In essence, we have to realize we have strayed from God, cleanse our hearts of sin, and ask God to renew in us clean hearts (Psalm 51:10). Once we have a fresh look at Calvary, we can see ourselves for what we truly are. Until we see our own depravity, we will never see our true need for a Savior that can make us whole. When we remember all that Christ did for us, we can’t help but fall in love with Him more. This change in the heart of one can’t help but spill over into the lives of others. This is how a revival starts:one heart, one person. Then it becomes two, then three. Soon a congregation is in on it, and revival continues to spread. And the really good news? Christ is eagerly awaiting our return! The question is, are you ready to return and be the one who sparks a revival?